#BEDM14 Day 19 – What’s Your Biggest Regret?
Where to start? I regret loads. I regret not getting my degree because I was too burned out to push myself hard in a course that wasn’t fitting in my brain. I regret not making a better account of myself when I was being performance managed at work and just accepting the demotion that was eventually handed down. I regret spending shitloads of money on credit cards buying toys to try to make myself feel better when I was angry and depressed. I regret piling on tons of weight because I comfort eat. I regret being too shy to get involved with some of the boys who’ve shown an interest in my over the years (not all; some of them were swamp donkeys, but definitely some).
All of these decisions have led me to where I am today: in a small corner of the room, waiting for the paint to finally dry so I can walk out. But…
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.
Dealing with these situations has taught me things about myself. I’m climbing, slowly but surely, out of the well I fell down. I’m losing the weight. I’m paying off the debt. I chat with some nice boys on the internet. I’m already a better manager now than I was when I was demoted, and I’m not actually a manager.
So although I may regret all the trips, slip-ups and cataclysmic pratfalls of my life, what I don’t regret are the regrets. Because they are making me, if not a better person then at the very least a marginally improved one.